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We Live in an Empty World

by SLOW GROAN

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    various colors of cassettes featuring at least this entire album, and as much as two other albums inlcuding Simplify the Struggle of Existence and a currently unreleased klezmer album. Completely handmade, with information sheet. Only 25 available total.

    Includes unlimited streaming of We Live in an Empty World via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $3 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Almost an hour of music! Includes We Live in an Empty World, Simplify the Struggle of Existence and a bunch of unreleased Klezmer music recorded from the Beregovski book. The cover is decorated with a print that says "if you know me now you knew me." There is a double sided track listing and liner note behind the cd. Opposite on the inside is a "Slow Groan" print. That is printed on pages from a free book from the book thing on the Prado. The outside print says "Sex symbol livin' in the greatest city in america." It's printed on reused cardboard cereal and soda boxes. All this music I recorded in 2020 in Baltimore, MD where I made everything associated with crafting this merchandise as well as designed everything.

    Includes unlimited streaming of We Live in an Empty World via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $6 USD or more 

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 16 SLOW GROAN releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of We Live in an Empty World, Simplify the Struggle of Existence, Yeehaw Junction, You Shall Have Nothing but Joy, U Have A Voice, Something Strange Happened in the Farmyard, Shaved, More of the Raw, and 8 more. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $32.50 USD or more (35% OFF)

     

1.
She Ain’t My Girlfriend She’s just someone who says she cares Emerging from the din Smack of mirror and genteel social flare I want to cry on the phone with her But she would not let me sob She spell it out and the dance disturbed Emotional anxiety, I was robbed I live deep inside my mind And when I walk down the street I caught a glance If you want me I’ll give you the time Or this my last gasp for moment’s chance Stray bullet, intentionally beat Stay out of my street If I bought a gun I’d kill myself Save the bullets and leave them in my will She aint my girlfriend But hell I wish she was Of the loose parts of me I mend She was there and we never talked about love.
2.
Ain't Always 01:58
I ain’t always gonna do the honest thing Not to say I’ll lie but I will sing I don’t want to do the role model sting Just gimme an artist a bell that dings don’t give me credentials just give me a sound If you got a problem with me don’t hang around Have fun up on the high ground, I live in a swamp One called it a jihad another mein kampf But if it wasn’t for the struggle then I wouldnt be me If it wasn’t for the hand of the market, then the wage slaves would be free If I actually had a job I wouldnt be a rockstar And if I didn’t care about sound then I wouldnt go too far And if I didn’t hate bridges I would always hit the road Jumping state to state like frog playing with a toad.
3.
I don’t think I like to drink I hit the bathroom, puke in the sink Head askew and brain askance I swear I’m fine give me a chance I’ll do a dance I’ll sing a song I look good in tuxedos and thong If this my life then somethings wrong I don’t want to be right sing like king kong Up all night, nothing to do And brain cells I’ve left just a few Enough to rhyme a couple words Strum some chords, sing like a bird But not a dove a fucking loon I hate the sun and love the moon I love the summer but hate to sweat If it’s a better me I haven’t met I hate myself in the mirror Truly I have seen much clearer Really dumb, a little clever Figured out my life’s endeavor Bring joy through pain in song Write your heart out ya ding dong Pretend like everyone dead Then your ego won’t go to your head
4.
You ain’t a dom You just like to hurt Born out aggression From being the first The last, and all in between You say you love love But you love when I scream You saw the separation growing farther apart Instead of my problems, you attacked my heart Maybe I didn’t love violent enough Didn’t know gentle, I didn’t know rough Now you are gone but you should seek help Not from me I live in my own hell.
5.
Baltimore 01:31
Baltimore I heard your name Aquariums and o’s games Now I am a ravens fan Prefer a beer drank out a can Run my mouth and made mistakes Down mlk to escape Back in and out, the same path Always sad to see it pass What a thrill to come again Like returning to a loser friend All my folks, I don’t see Often I forget all the Adaptation in this world Boy meets girl and then becomes girl Broke her heart, reminisce the fatal Excited to suck upon fate’s ladle When the heat ran out my heart I ruled it anew a fresh apart Til that heart’s fire fell asleep And I dreamed a fever of too steep Swear I’ve died five or six times If not for the love the world imbibes Often alone and more often a wanderer Was I a mirror or a foil to her?
6.
Under the thumb of big data Compels us to go to war That is what america wants Kill me and draft the poor Bomb our problems away Like playing video games I don’t think that there should be borders Who all feels the same? Sedate in front of television With so much cultural guff “we are living in a golden age” Who all got the right stuff? Afraid to say who I want dead The government is listening Afraid to say who I want dead For the trees is glistening.
7.
Smokey Rolls 02:25
Smokey rolls across the sky A phrase so caught up in the lips of man You either get it or you can’t Crushed cans at the bottom of such highs And Friday night country got dim lights And time alone will flow like sand Pears to pick and wheat to scythe Fuck a law I spend my time Feeling sorry for a sycophant Throw in a worm but can’t hook a fish Sorrow for me feel not a pith Strangle me silent, leave me close to death Rubbing up against up a cast iron pan Frying bacon but praise HaShem All I do I do for him And her and god and they and them And I don’t believe I live in sin At least I tell myself no lies And smokey rolls across the skies And we never question why And that time comes again, when
8.
I don’t go out I have a cat Sit on my ass And just get fat All I eat I piss it out Check the toilet Full of cloud And black mold From my disease I don’t live west But always east Sing like a banshee A reject Trans and jewish No respect No friends But I invite none over They aint nothing but a bunch of schnorrers Nyc I hate her guts Wanting to get kissed but instead get punched I don’t fuck but I jerk off “What a lady”, don’t give a toss “please turn it down you upset me” Says the dog barks up my tree Go to sleep but I’m afraid I won’t wake up but it’s too late Soft whispers or formal justice What I want amounts to bupkis.
9.
Vi Heystu 01:29
Vi heystu Ikh heys yasha Is all I learned on day one Pasta is all I had at 5 for lunch Dinner at 9, class was crunched A virus has taken us by storm And luckily I have this report And not long or how soon No one knows it’s time entombed After can we just laugh at this? Will we embrace? Should we kiss? Or a final poem for bedside’s sake Is lost amongst the writer’s estate I bid farewell and I do adieu Gone from me are the days I knew
10.
I don’t like the way you stomp around Talking nothing hot air Filling false space I’ll stomp the hell Right out the taste Get my heart beating Tik tik tok Far enough fleeting Arteries block Why spend my years Before I fall sick Getting mad At ronald rick Or dick dump truck Stupid red tie No fashion sense Zero apple pie
11.
If I could only win your love I'd make the most of everything I'd proudly wear your wedding ring My heart would never stray one dream away If I could only win your love I'd give my all to make it live You'll never know how much I give If I could only win your love Oh how can I ever say How I crave your love when your gone away Oh how can I ever show How I burn inside when you hold me tight

about

I have been sitting on releasing this album for awhile. It’s like not wanting to let something of your own out in the world. I have always tried to be vulnerable and honest with my music. I filled this album with all my fears, desires, dreads and needs. Some of these songs I wrote as far back as March 2020. Two were on a previous release. The last song is an Emmylou Harris cover.

I’ve sat, like everyone else, in social isolation. My family lives in NJ and I live in Baltimore. My friends live all over and I’ve grown to love talking on the phone. Really, I can sit on the phone for hours with the right conversationalist. I’ve also thought about who ain’t really my friend. I’ve thought about some folks that really did me wrong and fantasized too much. Lately I’ve been indulging in romantic conversations with these fantasies before I go to sleep and it really just leaves me more upset when I catch myself doing it.

Every album is the x-mas letter. I grew some vegetables, fruits, herbs, drove a lot, got on the diabetic pump, took a ride in an ambulance, stayed at the hospital like every year, got a job, quit it, got another, worked on my graduate thesis, grew some nice tits, and wrote and recorded this album. I turn 30 this month and generally feel miserable, especially at night.

When Covid-19 became a reality, I just assumed I was going to die from it. But one just learns to live with that fear.

Honestly, who know’s what’ll happen to me. I hung onto these songs because I always try to be truthful and vulnerable but it just hurts a lot to accept terrible truths about yourself.

Also the title is from The Foundation Pit by Andrei Platonov. And there's a bit of khoomei. It's sampled from another work of mine, but ya know u can see me sing khoomei live (when that becomes a thing again) and not everything has to have everything in it.

Yasha SLOW GROAN Erkkila
Slowgroan.com
slowgroan@gmail.com

credits

released October 21, 2020

Everything is written, recorded, performed, mixed, packaged and released by Yasha Erkkila except for the last song which is by the Louvin Brothers and made famous by Emmylou Harris.

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all rights reserved

tags

about

SLOW GROAN Knoxville, Maryland

I am a transgender sex symbol living in Maryland. I am also proud to be America's first transgender country music SUPERSTAR

Booking: slowgroan@gmail.com

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